Holiday DVD 2006

It seems every year at least one feature film is released using a familiar phrase from a classic christmas carol as it's title. This year, Disney and United Artists are releasing a DVD of brand new, never before seen full length features using this warm, family friendly marketing strategy. From the makers of 'Jingle All The Way' and 'Deck The Halls' comes a chock full of family entertainment featuring your favorite dramatic actors in big, fat, pussy roles the entire family can enjoy.

'Christ Is Born' - Christ Kempton (Mathew McConaughey) goes back in time to get his son the perfect christmas gift...but the time machine disfunctions and sends Christ all the way back to when he was a baby! Can his brain still function as an adult, or will he be forced to live his life a second time through? But get this-- with this time machine, he stays a baby forever!

'Crown Young Virgin' - Orlando Bloom stars as a high school basketball hero who's dreams of going to his father's academy are shattered when his life takes a 180 degree turn after getting his 14 year old cousin pregnant. Also, tables turn when out of nowhere his cousin gets nominated for prom queen...as a freshman. Can Orlando turn his nerdy, bookworm cousin into a stunning, dime a dozen? In time for Christmas, though?

'Ten Lords-A-Leapin' - 10 brave, homosexual New York University students debate life's worth from the window balcony hanging off their 14 story dorm building. Only reason...and a little Christmas Magic...will save their sorry, tortured artist souls from an early, forgettable death.

'Sleighbell's Ring'- Sleighbell (Jenifer Lopez) is a fast talking magazine editor living in the Big Apple. When heart throb Freddy (K. Cobain) suprises Sleighbell with a ring and an invitation to his hand in marriage, does Sleighbell throw it all away? Also, when Sleighbell's dog, Sleighbell, was first born, it accidently swallowed human Sleighbell's grandmother's small silver bell, creating a piercing high pitched ring whenever it sneezes. On the night of J-Lo's big presentation before the committee, Sleighbell (dog) mysteriously goes missing. Now J-Lo has to use her unique sense of hearing (dog hearing) to locate Sleighbell and collect the 5 grey targets dispersed randomly throughout the great city.

Happy Holidays!